It seems as though it's a bit "uncool" to be positive though, you end up being labelled "happy-clappy" or a hippy or whatever and that shouldn't be the case. Lately via Twitter I've noticed quite a few people who might normally have a lower opinion of themselves starting to say more positive things, or generally being happier in their own skin. To me, if you want to live a relatively sane life, getting as far as at least liking yourself is a pretty important step.
And that doesn't mean you have to be perfectly satisfied with every aspect of your physical appearance or every characteristic that makes you who you are. That's never ever going to happen for anyone. I'm average height, a bit too skinny, average looking face which is strangely long and thin and my choice of having long hair and a goatee occasionally invites sniggers from passing children.....but I'm actually all right with all of that. The last part shouldn't really happen but if it bothered me that much I'd change my appearance (it doesn't).
In terms of me I'm naturally a very quiet person, kind of nervous in new situations, although I imagine if anyone that knew me in real life read this they might be surprised by the second point because I don't really show it outwardly now. When I was at college it wasn't uncommon for me to spend a free period sat with a load of people I knew but not say a single word for an hour and then get up and go to my next lesson. I think that was probably mostly through a fear of opening my mouth and saying something stupid, but with hindsight I probably looked even stranger sat there silently. By actually taking control of my head and convincing myself that, contrary to what my natural instinct was telling me, the world wouldn't end if occasionally I do or say something that makes me look an idiot, that is no longer a problem.
You might have read that and thought it was drastically over-simplifying what for some people are much more deep-rooted issues and of course you'd be right. But in some cases it can be that simple even if it means chipping away at it over a period of time. Start with smaller things and you never know, it may snowball.
Back to the main point though, how many times have you heard someone called names because of their weight, their ethnicity, their hair colour or anything at all that marks them out as different. ALL THE TIME, especially as kids. How many times do you hear someone say something nice to someone? Yeah, there's the polite comments such as "Ooh I like your hair/top/whatever" but in some cases they're not overly sincere. It costs nothing to make someone's day with just a few kind words. True, it can be a bit of a minefield in that the recipient may feel uncomfortable or read too much into something, but you get the idea. Even if one person reinforces a positive thought it could make a big difference to someone's outlook.
I really don't understand the mentality of someone that wades in and says something negative when someone is either talking about something they like or something positive that has happened to them, unless it relates to something crucial that they need to be made aware of. If people feel good, then allow them that chance, even reassure them if you feel strongly about it, you never know you might just make their day.
And remember if someone hears 20 positive comments and one negative comment during a particular day, guess which they'll remember? It's human nature unfortunately. Make sure it didn't come from you.
(if any or all of this blog sounds blatantly obvious then that's probably good, you must be doing something right!)
As a footnote, quite a few of the songs I write touch on some of the issues explored above, below are the lyrics to 'What If?' by Beneath Utopia if anyone is interested:
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